Since I mentioned, in my comment to Liz’s previous post, that I am not that keen on walking, I have been mulling it over in my mind. Yesterday, I decided that I would make sure my 5 mile training would be in a more built up area and incorporated one of my favourite places – West Bay (home of the TV programme Broadchurch – FYI).
I realised very quickly that this was definitely better for me (I even surpassed the 5 miles and did a grand total of 6.53miles, also in keeping with the last post). I liked discovering alleyways and footpaths that took me in the direction in which I was already generally heading. Passing cars, houses and people walking their dogs helped me realise that it isn’t the walking itself but the surroundings in which I find myself which makes all the difference.
This thought process reminded me of a scene in the film Runaway Bride when Graham (Richard Gere) challenges Maggie (Julia Roberts) on how she likes her eggs according to the person she is with.
It is no secret that I change my mind all the time and I have written about how this has caused me to feel ashamed. However, today, I decided to reframe this into being ‘experimental’ with my choices. This felt right. It means that I can now allow myself to do any one thing, possibly like it for a short time and accept it may have a limited life span.
It has been an ongoing joke in my family about my walking or rather how I don’t like to walk and I have lived up (down?!) to that all these years. However, it could have just been that when they were going out, it was not right for me (for example after Christmas Lunch).
I find it a relief – and somewhat helpful – to know it is ok to reframe; to think of another way to achieve your goals. I want to succeed in doing the Moonwalk for various reasons. Deciding it’s not for me due to historical reasons can only lead to disappointment and a sense of failure.
It is fair to say that I do tend to analyse most situations with the aim of having a positive outlook – my hair loss is another example of that – and although it seemingly takes more energy to find an alternative approach to being positive, rather than giving up at the first sign of failure, the end result is far more appealing.
On reflection, I ‘reframed’ my Alopecia experience from being “OMG! I don’t have any hair” to a more healthy outlook of “I am strong person, my hair doesn’t define me. It is simply another look”.
“Stay committed to your decision but stay flexible to your approach”
– Tony Robbins
Rach has done well all these years to put up with the family ribbings she received. But she was right to dig her heels in, so to speak, and stick with what she wanted to do, rather than go along with the crowd. I wish I had been able to do this more when I was growing up.
Reframing can be a very helpful technique. Challenging ourselves to look at things differently can often help us to find ways through seemingly insurmountable problems. It even works with relatively trivial irritations. I have been known to get cross about people sniffing and sneezing on buses and children being overly loud (yes, I know!) – cue my own family ribbings. These days, I am much more likely to recognise that there is no point getting wound up by such things, and to be more tolerant of others. A change of thought pattern is so much more pleasant! 🙂
Featured image courtesy of www.peoplematters.in