In a recent interview with Graham Norton, Hillary Rhodham Clinton discussed how she has been programmed by her late mother to pick herself up and carry on when faced with adversity. As she so eloquently puts it, not everyone has had to do this after losing a presidential election but everything is relative and no [...]
A common fact of Alopecia is that it is unexpected. Many of us have lost our hair in a very short space of time with not much warning. I had a very small bald patch at the back of of my head for a couple of months - looking back now, it was hardly worth [...]
How many of us have been in the position of needing to talk to someone about a problem, only to find that they seemingly take over the conversation? When we put our stories on the line, it can be very dispiriting to hear 'I know exactly what you mean, X happened to me and I....'. [...]
My mum has often said that I am brave. Looking back, there are plenty of explanations as to why she would think that. However, I have never seen myself as brave - in any situation. Bravery to me means fighting a battle for your country or fighting a battle of a life-threathening illness. It can [...]
Following on from my last post about people saying hurtful things, I remembered that I wrote this post (see below) a few months ago on my other blog, Leaping Life. It emphasises that we are all challenged by others who may speak thoughtlessly without meaning to. The onus is on each of us to model better behaviour by making the effort to be thoughtful and kind.
Since having Alopecia, I have had more interactions with strangers than ever before. Other ‘Alopecians’ will confirm that being ‘different’ appears to present an open invitation to speak freely. Whilst in a sense this is a good thing, maybe freedom of speech should come with spoiler alerts or health warnings. As Liz mentions, these people don’t mean to be negative but the impact of what we say to another person can be catastrophic. A less dramatic example of this is when people say to me”great eyebrows”. Now, I have had a ongoing saga with my eyebrows – having Alopecia universalis means I have total loss of hair – so when, after the umpteenth time my eyebrows are finally acceptable to face the world, I then try to forget they’re there. However, when a random person makes a comment, something I have never encountered before (it’s not a normal thing to say, is it?), and they think they are being encouraging and supporting, the fact is it puts me in a place of negatively and mild paranoia. Family and friends know to be on eyebrow alert as it is easy to forget they are not permanent and can be inadvertently smudged – something my dearest daughter excels at!
Maybe the thing to consider before speaking is would I like to hear what I am about to say?
We are very excited at the moment because Hub has decided to retire early next July. Although we still have some months to wait for this big event, and of course we do not want to wish our lives away, we are enjoying talking about how things will be different when he embarks on this new chapter in his life.
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In her post celebrating International Alopecia Day, Rachel spoke about how she encountered rudeness about her bald look when she went into a shop. This was not the first time that people had spoken thoughtlessly and insensitively to her since she lost her hair. I can think of times when people have said rude things [...]
I made this video message on National Alopecia Day. It is just one example of how people assume it is ok to say what they think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEL6keGSz30